I'm not angry at the child. I'm angry at the whole situation. I'm angry at her father for not putting the family first. Trying to mend things instead of doing nothing and watching as things never improve. Why do I not have any pictures of her, because she doesn't come around. If you go back 3 years to 8 years ago, I have tons of pictures of her that I took myself. I have her in several of my scrapbooks. Why, because she is a part of my life, rather it be directly or indirectly. It saddens me and hurts me to no end. I'm sorry if you think I was coming down on her. I just wanted to continue to have a relationship with her and I wanted her to give her brother a chance. Am I perfect? Heck no, but who is? I didn't throw my dirty laundry out there. I was venting because of an incident that occured Sunday and I have been upset every since. She was attacking her father through me. When I said that even 13 year oldscan be hurtful to, I meant that even though she is only 13, she has a huge impact on my life and I can be hurt by a young kid that I do truly care about. I feel like I'm the one that does care about this. I don't dislike her mom. I always thought she was a very good mother and I have even taken up for her to both Charlie and her daughter. I know her life consist of many challenges and I actually envy her for being able to take on so much and still function. I certainly don't know if I could. So with all of that said, I was trying to say that I would like to find a way to get on good terms with Charlie's daughter and have her let Carson in on her life. I'm still praying for a happy ending. I hope everyone understands that I'm just wanting to make things work out and not get any worse.
So maybe I didn't use good choice words. I was simply trying to reach out to what I thought were my friends in the blogging community and maybe look for some advice. I came from a broken home and I do understand the ups and downs of parents. But I think that is why I love her that much more. I saw some of my dad's girlfriend's jealous that he had us on the weekends which was suppose to be time for them. I never tried to come in between Charlie and his daughter. If anything I would fight harder for her.
Believe it or not, I really want nothing more for her and I to have a relationship and I would be tickled pink if she would give us a chance. People can change. I have truly seen that first hand. Charlie and I did argue a lot but we have worked really hard to fix that. Do we still argue? Yes, but not like we used to . I'm just looking for the happy ending and would like for the two in question who feel offended or insulted know that I have done good things for her and I wish they could look past Charlie and I mistakes and move forward with us. I don't know what the future holds for Charlie or I but bottom line is I'm still the mother of his son.
Since my intentions were not to insult the child, I will take that post off of my blog. It wasn't meant to be a bash. I will apologize if that is how some people felt. I'm just looking for an outlet to have some peace between us.
That is my birthday wish!
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