Friday, December 12, 2008

Good news and Bad....

Well I would like to start off with my great news. Coltan and Cody tried out again for the Missouri Olympic Developmental State team and I'm excited to say that they BOTH made the team!!!! Again, this is the team that Cody made last year that they only selected 18 players from the WHOLE state of Missouri and he travels for. I am just beside myself with joy and they coolest part is they will travel at least 4 times between Jan and July and I get to watch both of my boys play out of town in tournaments. Congratulation boys. Mommy is so proud of your accomplishment with soccer. We will start off in Lincoln NE in Jan for the first tournament. So stay tuned for those highlights.

Now for my sad news. I took Carson to the Special Care Clinic at Children's yesterday and he has managed to lose 3.3 pounds since Nov 25th. He has completely stopped drinking apple juice or milk for me. The only thing he will drink for me is water. But he is only drinking 10-15 oz a day. So we have had hardly any wet diapers for the last 3 weeks. This has been going on since basically Oct 31 when he had surgery. I have asked Charlie several times last week to please come down and help me because I though maybe he could convince Carson to drink for us. I just found out that he has been dating someone for the last three years (yes and I have been with him for the last 8) so apparently since she found out we were still seeing each other, she has forbid him from coming down to my house so Charlie has declined my requests. Now Charlie did offer to take Carson up to his house one day but I need to know he is taking all of his meds and when he is this sick, I'm staying with my son.

He did have that rotavirus last week so I thought this was also contributing to this situation. He has also started eating even smaller amounts of food. So the four specialist involved in this doctor's appt told me that they wanted him admitted yesterday. I started crying and asked if there was a back up plan as I have two other boys that I need to be with and I didn't plan for any of this and we didn't bring any clothes or anything. So the dietitian said the only way we were walking out of the hospital was by placing a NG tube in Carson. So that is what we did. I used to be an EMT so I'm not intimidated by this, just overwhelmed with another obstacle. The dietitian gave us one week (appointment is set for 12/17) and if he doesn't gain an amount that she is satisfied with, she told me to bring a bag just in case.

So Blue Cross Blue Shields will pay for the pump, home health nurse 3 times a week for the first week and 2 times for the next two and more visits if needed, and all the supplies. But they said no on the the Pedisure. So I went to Wal Mart and it is 9.97 for 6 cans. They said we will need approximately 106 per month. He will be on this for at least a month and they said prepare for 3+ months. Before he lost his weight, he was at the 7% percentile. After losing, he is not even on the chart. She said she won't let him off until he reaches minimum 30% but really prefers 33%.

Carson is really sick. This has become a very serious and dangerous situation with him and I wish certain people would "get that" and maybe put family first. The doctor and psychologist wrote down in writing that I was the only one to be with Carson at all times. If anyone wants to spend time with him, I had to be there to supervise as there are a lot of things that can go wrong with his feeding tube. It is really scary that if I don't check his placement or think I heard the swoosh and really didn't, that all his feeds can go into his lungs. WOW!!! So when I called Charlie yesterday and explained all of this to him since he did forget Carson's appointment all together (which is my fault because I did tell him about it on Sunday and Monday but apparently I was suppose to call him Tuesday night and again Wednesday morning and this is what he did say to me as he was blaming me) I then asked for some help with the Pedisure since I just paid $175.00 2 weeks ago on his one month supply of simply thick he never answered me. But he did tell me that since my house was off limits that if I could call him when the NG tube is out so he could make arrangements to see his son.

My mother apparently got angry enough and called him today. So he did speak to me and stated he would buy enough Pedisure through the end of Dec. I'm assuming he will drop it off at my work or with my mother since he cannot come down to see his son,

I know, I shouldn't put my "dirty laundry" out there for everyone to see but you know, this is my blog and I'm exhausted, and extremely overwhelmed. I have cried a lot this whole week with all of this news. If Carson wasn't enough, then to find out that the man that I have been in love with for the last 8 years is someone that I really don't know.

This too shall pass and God will guide me through this. I will look at him for peace and comfort so that I can concentrate on all three of my children. Because my family is my #1 priority.


Lacia said...

WOW...I'm so sorry you are going through all of this. I can't beleive your ex is putting his g/f before his son. AND what kind of person is SHE to restrict him from seeing him??

I hope the feeding tube doesn't last too long and Carson gets back on track real soon. I'm a little baffled why they jumped to the feeding tube so soon? How much does Carson weigh again? And how old is he? My youngest who is just barely 2 1/2 has always had weight issues. As a baby he was in the 50th percentile, then around 6mths dropped and dropped and ended up at 5%, then fell off the chart completely. He was tested for anything and everything and nothing came up. He has since caught up a little bit, but still only in the 5-10%. My doctors don't really seem concerened at where is he on the chart, just that he follows the curve, which he now finally is. Has Carson followed a curve or been higher on the chart? I think if Pierce had to reach 30% he would be on a feeding tube for the rest of his life! I just don't think that would be attainable for him.

Melissa said...

Oh hon, I am praying for you. You have been through so much lately and I can only imagine how overwhelming it is. I am so sorry. I will be in touch soon, we need to talk or get together, I have been thinking about you guys so much lately. I'll keep praying that God continues to hold you up through this since He cares more about you than anyone else possibly can and hurts with you. Hang in there....

Pam said...

Well you and I have already talked about this so you know where I stand. If you need to talk anymore you have my number. I am so sorry that you are going through all of this.

The stuff with Carson sounds like exactly what Rhett went through in March after his airway surgery.

Poor Carson though, he probably is pretty upset. I have some extra pediasure if you want me to send some your way. Rhett has been eating solids much better and gaining weight so we have cut down on it.

Let me know okay? Could you have your Dr call and talk to the insurance? I know sometimes that helped with me when we had insurance.

Sending lots of hugs your way, and you air that dirty lanudry girl, you have to heal, and you're right it IS your blog!!

Oh, and tell Coltan and Cody CONGRATS!!!!


Aimee said...

Oh... I am so sorry to hear all of this. However, you know how I feel about the Charlie thing but I can't believe that he is letting some girlfriend tell him that she can't see his son! I would say some really bad words right now but I'll keep this a "G" rated post.

Please let me know if there is anything I can do or need help with... and you have my number if you need to talk.

One last thing... congrats Colton & Cody!!!! Loves and great big ((HUGS)) from me to you!

Kaden and Angel Ava's mommy said...

I tried posting a comment earlier but my computer started doing some funky things. So here I go again...

First of all you know how I feel about the whole Charlie situation. The girlfriend must be a pretty selfish person to keep him from seeing his son, especially at such a time as now. And why can't he stand up to her???

I am so sorry about everything. You are an amazing mommy and your boys are very lucky to have you. You are strong and beautiful and you do not deserve to be treated how you are being treated by someone you have shared your love and life with.

I hope that Carson starts eating better. How did he do with the NG tube?

And finally, congratulations Cody and Colton. Good luck with everything. You have one proud mommy. I know you guys will do great!!!!

Call me if you need anything.

Spaghetti said...

I do believe that God has a better situation waiting in your wings. I cry for you and pray that God will see a way through the mess that seems to be overloading you. I can't believe that he wouldn't stand up for his own flesh and blood. Hang in there! I think that what you are doing is a great thing for those boys and they will appreciate you even more later on. I can't encourage you enough right now. I know.... that men don't see the light of days sometimes and I have no words of wisdom except that God is truly watching over you and me and I know that we will get through the mess that we are all in. My prayers for you, Colton, Cody, and Carson. Let me know if you need anything. I will keep praying.

Kaci said...

First, congrat to Coltan & Cody! What a great accomplishment!

(((hugs))) to you & Carson. You have amazing strength, and God will get you through this. I hope your ex will stand up to the girlfriend soon...I can't imagine someone stopping me from seeing my children, especially if they were dealing with medical concerns. I'm sorry.

Being Brazen said...

Well done to your two sons.

Really hope things get much better for you and Carson :) Sending up a prayer for you

*big hugs*

Christine said...

Wow--- stay strong. You are your children's biggest advocate. Big hugs

Rachel said...

Congrats to the boys!!! Way to go fella's! know me and how I feel about Charlie and that girl. Let him go. If he can't be a father on his own, then realize that he will never be no matter how we try to change them, or try to make them be the father they should be, they just wont change.

This girl is a complete idiot! Who lets a man choose her over a child? WRONGO!!!!!

I'm so sorry for you and for all you are going thru! I love ya and I'm always here for you!

I was gonna come by tonight, but I am now SICK with a cold and larangitis (sp?) So i'll call you when i get home. I certainly don't want to get Carson sick with ANYTHING!

Love and Prayers! And remember, Charlie will be sorry for this one day when his son rebels from him! It will happen and you did all you could!


Andrea said...

girl, you have had a terrible week! I hope you get all of this worked out!! We will pray for a speedy recovery and health!

Dawn at CHERUBS said...

I found your blog through other CDH moms and just wanted to say hello. :) Sounds like you have 3 amazing boys. I'll keep you all in my prayers, if you need to talk (been there, done that with a lot of what you're going through)... I'm here to lend an ear or shoulder!

mommy to Shane (1/28/93-9/11/99) CDH, multiple birth defects and complications

CHERUBS - Congenial Diaphragmatic Hernia Research Awareness and Support -
CDH Forums -
CDH Research -

Carey said...

Wow, Kaci. I've been out of the loop lately, and I've missed so much!!!! How is the feeding going? I'm so sorry about all the madness. I was going through your old posts too and saw about the night terrors. If he's still having them, email me, we went through them awful and found a fix in ONE night with my son!!! We'll be praying for you and your family!

Lacia said...

hey, I just got your comment. Thanks so much. I didn't get your email. Maybe it went in my spam folder....can you resend?

Mike and Gail said...

Way to go! Coltan and Cody.

For you and Carson. I will be praying God's will in this. I Pray that your ex will see the truth.


Psalm 46:10