Good news and Bad....

Well I would like to start off with my great news. Coltan and Cody tried out again for the Missouri Olympic Developmental State team and I'm excited to say that they BOTH made the team!!!! Again, this is the team that Cody made last year that they only selected 18 players from the WHOLE state of Missouri and he travels for. I am just beside myself with joy and they coolest part is they will travel at least 4 times between Jan and July and I get to watch both of my boys play out of town in tournaments. Congratulation boys. Mommy is so proud of your accomplishment with soccer. We will start off in Lincoln NE in Jan for the first tournament. So stay tuned for those highlights.

Now for my sad news. I took Carson to the Special Care Clinic at Children's yesterday and he has managed to lose 3.3 pounds since Nov 25th. He has completely stopped drinking apple juice or milk for me. The only thing he will drink for me is water. But he is only drinking 10-15 oz a day. So we have had hardly any wet diapers for the last 3 weeks. This has been going on since basically Oct 31 when he had surgery. I have asked Charlie several times last week to please come down and help me because I though maybe he could convince Carson to drink for us. I just found out that he has been dating someone for the last three years (yes and I have been with him for the last 8) so apparently since she found out we were still seeing each other, she has forbid him from coming down to my house so Charlie has declined my requests. Now Charlie did offer to take Carson up to his house one day but I need to know he is taking all of his meds and when he is this sick, I'm staying with my son.

He did have that rotavirus last week so I thought this was also contributing to this situation. He has also started eating even smaller amounts of food. So the four specialist involved in this doctor's appt told me that they wanted him admitted yesterday. I started crying and asked if there was a back up plan as I have two other boys that I need to be with and I didn't plan for any of this and we didn't bring any clothes or anything. So the dietitian said the only way we were walking out of the hospital was by placing a NG tube in Carson. So that is what we did. I used to be an EMT so I'm not intimidated by this, just overwhelmed with another obstacle. The dietitian gave us one week (appointment is set for 12/17) and if he doesn't gain an amount that she is satisfied with, she told me to bring a bag just in case.

So Blue Cross Blue Shields will pay for the pump, home health nurse 3 times a week for the first week and 2 times for the next two and more visits if needed, and all the supplies. But they said no on the the Pedisure. So I went to Wal Mart and it is 9.97 for 6 cans. They said we will need approximately 106 per month. He will be on this for at least a month and they said prepare for 3+ months. Before he lost his weight, he was at the 7% percentile. After losing, he is not even on the chart. She said she won't let him off until he reaches minimum 30% but really prefers 33%.

Carson is really sick. This has become a very serious and dangerous situation with him and I wish certain people would "get that" and maybe put family first. The doctor and psychologist wrote down in writing that I was the only one to be with Carson at all times. If anyone wants to spend time with him, I had to be there to supervise as there are a lot of things that can go wrong with his feeding tube. It is really scary that if I don't check his placement or think I heard the swoosh and really didn't, that all his feeds can go into his lungs. WOW!!! So when I called Charlie yesterday and explained all of this to him since he did forget Carson's appointment all together (which is my fault because I did tell him about it on Sunday and Monday but apparently I was suppose to call him Tuesday night and again Wednesday morning and this is what he did say to me as he was blaming me) I then asked for some help with the Pedisure since I just paid $175.00 2 weeks ago on his one month supply of simply thick he never answered me. But he did tell me that since my house was off limits that if I could call him when the NG tube is out so he could make arrangements to see his son.

My mother apparently got angry enough and called him today. So he did speak to me and stated he would buy enough Pedisure through the end of Dec. I'm assuming he will drop it off at my work or with my mother since he cannot come down to see his son,

I know, I shouldn't put my "dirty laundry" out there for everyone to see but you know, this is my blog and I'm exhausted, and extremely overwhelmed. I have cried a lot this whole week with all of this news. If Carson wasn't enough, then to find out that the man that I have been in love with for the last 8 years is someone that I really don't know.

This too shall pass and God will guide me through this. I will look at him for peace and comfort so that I can concentrate on all three of my children. Because my family is my #1 priority.